Yes Please

I’ve been asked numerous times by a few people, him included, what I want done to me in the bedroom. The first few times I had no idea and would always say that it was up to him.

But then I started to wonder what “it’s up to him” would entail. Because saying that gives him COMPLETE permission to do whatever the hell he wants to me and my body. Would I be prepared for that? Who knows? I sure don’t. 

So I actually started to think. I went to a trusted website and did some research there. I talked to a few friends, not about what it is they do, but sex in general. It was during this time that I realized how much my mind had changed when it came to what I would and wouldn’t do. Or what I would or wouldn’t have done to me.

This is also when I realized that I want to be roughhoused and manhandled in the bedroom.

And now that I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, I have quite a few ideas, most are simple though

Things like wanting to be blindfolded and played with. Pinned against the wall and frisked. Or even tied up, just no handcuffs though. (I don’t want to risk him misplacing the key and being made to stay handcuffed longer than necessary)

I’m small and I enjoy the playful wrestling so getting tossed is on the list as well

There are some things on my list where you’ll just have to know me to understand why I like it and want it to happen

Now when I’m asked or given suggestions, most of the time my answer is “yes please”

Different Sides of People

I saw on Tumblr a post that said there are two sides to everybody, a side that they allow others to see and a side that nobody sees (or something like that)

how true that is

people display on their blogs, fbks, and twitters, etc a side of themselves that they hope will be welcomed by some because they know they won't be welcomed by all

then, once their phones have been turned off, computers shut down and it's just them in their rooms a whole new side of them shows up

a side that they're afraid to put on display for fear of whatever be it being judged, disliked, outcasted, what have you

this doesn't make these people fake, to me, it makes them human

Or, maybe it's just me who's like that

I mean what you see on here, my other blog, fbk and twitter is what you'll get when you actually see me but deep down at my core is someone only I recognize

Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas

I don't know where to begin except to say that it was an experience that I'll never forget. 

Once you've seen a Tyler Perry play LIVE you'll want to see all the rest of them LIVE and wish you'd have seen past ones that way too

I truly enjoyed myself and wish me and the TwinPisces had've camped out somewhere in the CEC so we could see the play again tonight.

TP starts on time. I mean 7:59 the lights were dimming and the curtain was rising

It started with a Christmas carol which immediately won my heart as Christmas music is my absolute favorite

There were some great songs in this one. Though she and I never said anything to each other there was one song that made me think about my daddy and I'm sure one of the other songs (about a mother and daughter) had my best friend thinking about her deceased mother. We gave each other looks but that was it. I almost wanted to cry

We laughed the whole entire time. There were some bloopers which made seeing it LIVE that much better. And you can really see that it's hard to keep a straight face when Tyler Perry turns into Madea.

And say what you want about her, Madea makes some good, no GREAT points when it comes to relationships, trust, love, forgiveness, etc. And maybe it's just me, but when she gets into her "teaching" mode you kind of forget that it's actually a man in a costume. And then I said to myself, Tyler Perry is a wise man.

There was one song that was sung by Tony Grant that made me want to throw a pair of my panties at him.  It also made me put myself in the shoes of the woman he was singing to. 

One of the character's name was China and you KNOW I had a good laugh at that.

When it was over TP came out and talked to us for a while. He told us that we were the first audience to actually see this production (that felt good). He asked where some of us were from and one elderly lady and her family said that they took Greyhound from New York City (people were yelling out cities in Alabama and someone said New Orleans). TP was so shocked he offered to pay for her flight back home. He also had them escorted backstage. She turned down his offer for a flight back to NYC saying she hated flying but I'm sure TP offered to pay for her bus fare back home.

A lot of people say that TP doesn't have that many white fans...yeah right, I saw a lot of white singles, couples and families piling in to see this play

I can't wait until this play is out on DVD. I really wish I could see it again

the Lightbulb is Flickering

so it hit me, my brother is partially to blame for why I love rap music that is so out of my character

songs like

• 8Ball & MJG's whole Coming Out Hard album
• Crucial Conflict's "Hay"
• Tela's "Sho'Nuff"
• The Luniz's "I Got Five On It"
• Do or Die's "Smoke and Ride"
• Do or Die's "Do You Wanna Ride"

and so many others like it. His friends listened to these songs too and I would just ride and listen. My brother isn't a drinker or a smoker either but, like me, his friends are. and I'd just ride while they were doing that too (well not drinking of course)

my friend is always cracking jokes on me b/c I like thugs and he says that looking at me you'd think I wouldn't like songs like these or educated thugs but I do. I love them.

I Miss You

My letter to relationships

Dear Relationship,

I miss you.

I miss being in you.

I miss the companionship.

I miss having someone whose intention is to listen to what bothers/hurts/upsets me though at some point they stop and are just staring at me pretending to listen

I miss his desire to “fix” my problem, I think it’s cute b/c he can’t help it

I miss being slightly upset because he wants to “fix” my problem when I really just want him to listen to it

I miss actually wanting him to “fix” my problem because sometimes his solution is better/more logical than my own

I miss him being mad at whoever upset me

I miss being held

I miss the touch of that special someone

I miss somebody caring about me on purpose

I miss being told that the part of my personality that I see as a flaw is something he enjoys

I miss being on the verge of getting mad with him and then a particular song plays and all is {{momentarily}} forgotten

I miss wrestling with him

I miss depending on someone {{even in the slightest way}} to make/keep me happy

I miss someone being dependent on me {{even in the slightest way}} to make/keep them happy

I miss someone appreciating the fact that I’m easy to please

Come back to me, please {{in the right form though}}

Love, Me

Tattoos

I've come to learn (between getting my first one and designing my second and last one) that NOBODY will understand the significance behind your tattoo the way you do no matter how many times you explain it

Someone is always going to say it was stupid, pointless, etc b/c they've not seen/heard/been through whatever it was that inspired the tattoo

and that's fine, the world isn't meant to understand why you got stars tatted behind your ear or a picture of Katt Williams on your left shoulder blade

Some interesting ones I've seen

-a small pair of scissors on the neck of a hairstylist who specializes in cuts
-an eye with a tear drop on the thigh of my camp counselor to memorialize her best friend who died after taking a bullet for her
- a bar code to signify a friend being a product of her parents (I thought that was really clever)

A tweet just came across my timeline about how someone doesn't understand another person's tattoo and I felt compelled to post this. Also because after describing my next tattoo to a friend she said it was cool how it has significance to so many people in my life in different ways

Writer's Benefit

I write both on paper and on my computer.

I used to just do it ONLY on the computer but now I’ve begun to do a lot of it on paper.

We’ve become so accustomed to our computers and smart phones coming with automatic spell check (even though some people ignore that little red line) that when it DOES come time to put pen to paper we’ve really forgotten how to spell.

I’m guilty of going to Google and typing in a word just to make sure I was spelling it correctly, or typing it into Word and having them check it for me.

Putting pen to paper has reinforced the spelling talents I had back in grade school (yes, I went far in the Spelling Bee competitions, lol). I’m being forced, a good thing, to actually look at a word that I’m unsure of and sound it out and even think on it to come up with its correct definition.

Also, putting pen to paper is so much more personal than texting and emailing. It means that someone took their time to actually sit down, find some paper and a pen and express their thoughts and feelings to you. Personal letters are becoming extinct but I’m going to keep them alive.

Remember when it was cool to have a pen pal? You couldn’t wait to tell them about what was going on with you and then you’d anxiously wait for their return letter in the mail? Well, one of my best friends could be called my pen pal. We haven’t seen each other since we first initially met back in 2002. We keep in touch through long emails and long letters. It’s a great feeling to sit down and write her a letter.

Oh and it doesn’t hurt that I adore my own handwriting. It makes writing out "thank you" cards that much more fun. Esp. when I use a color sharpie and not just a regular pen.  I had a guy at the post office watch me write out an address and asked me if I was a teacher. I told him I was and asked him how he knew. He said I had the handwriting of a teacher, nice, neat and very legible and easy to understand. The lady behind the counter agreed and said she wished I could write out addresses for everybody b/c some people come in with handwriting they themselves probably couldn’t read.

Boy, if that were a REAL job, I’d definitely take it