Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Mutual Friends, Different Friendships

It’s funny, to me at least, how people assume that just because a friend treats them one way that this person treats ALL their other friends the same way.

This could be true, at times, but not all the time.

NOT to say these people are fake, just saying that each of their friendships are slightly different and each friend gets a slightly different treatment

An example (true story)

I spoke a name around a female who blatantly despises who I spoke of. Her response was something similar to “He ain’t gon’ do sh*t because he didn’t with me”. I quickly apologized and said that I wasn’t aware of their situation. But, in my head I was thinking, “that’s YOU. I’m not you, I know how he feels about me and I know what he will and won’t do on account of me”.

this is not the first time someone has assumed I get the same treatment they do from a mutual friend.
I am in no way saying that I’m special, well, when I was a kid Barney told me I was, I’m just saying that you can’t assume you get treated the same way someone else does b/c you and that person are two completely different people.

I don’t treat each person in my circle the exact same way. their treatment is based on various factors which include but aren’t limited to, how long we’ve been friends, what we’ve been through together, etc. More importantly though, their treatment is based on how they treat me.

I’ve asked some of my friends (only if I’ve witnessed a certain treatment) why they treat someone else one way and me another. their answers were pretty much the same, just different words. “It’s how you carry yourself” and/or “I treat you, or try to, the way you treat me” My favorite answer though, which came from a guy, was “I treat you the way you allow me to”

I had another friend text me one day and say “I’m not as special as you are. You’re irreplaceable but I know I can be replaced”. I didn’t really know how to take that considering the conversation we were having. I badly wanted to ask her why she thought that but I knew that actually trying to answer me would hurt her even more than she was already hurting.

that conversation sealed the “people treat you the way you allow them to” deal for me.

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